What are some great short jokes?

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• Why do some women alter their faces by so-called cosmetic surgeries (on their eyes, cheeks, lips, chin, jaw) that making them look like Donald Duck or puffy aliens, while for most men these unnatural facial changes are ridiculous or even disgusting?
• Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?
• I haven’t eaten junk food for weeks, I ate dirty all-day yesterday, but I can’t even workout, why am I so tired?
• My boyfriend won’t tell me his past and it hurts me so I broke up with him what do I do?
• If I only have a fire extinguisher to defend myself against some threat from people, should I spray them for max damage or just hit them with the fire extinguishers?
• Why would my nipples hurt when I touch them?
• Why do some women squirt and some don't?
• How do I build rapport with anybody?
• How did your marriage end?
• Why have cell phones, the internet, and reality TV turned the world into a toilet, as this has not advanced us in any way?
• What does it mean when someone leaves something in your house, your room to be exact, and when you tell them, they say they left it there on purpose?